Rare Animal Discovered

"The Skeletal Remains of Tricerabottoms Rex" March 20,2005

Archaeologists,led by Professor I.R. Daffie, believe this is the body of a rare prehistoric Dinosaur of the Mesozoic (Jurassic) era, Tricerabottoms Rex, who roamed the mountains of Colorado four and one half million years ago. It had been previously believed to be long extinct, but this amazing find proves that it lived unnoticed in Madison County, New York as recently as this past winter of 2004/2005. It is presumed to have died of old age.

After examining these remains, Professor I. R. Daffie, PHD-HS of the top notch but little known Viny League College, Harvale, located in southern Colorado, said he was just a mite surprised. He had assumed all those Tricerabottoms were extinct, as were the better known Triceratops. But he said there WAS evidence that through mutations, at least one such animal could have continued to live on for thousands of years.

Some of the people of Biblical times (e.g. Noah, Methuselah and others) had genes allowing them to live hundreds of years longer than we do today.

Professor Daffie long contended that greater mutation activity took place in the era of dinosaurs than it does today. He is convinced that a "greatly extended-life-gene mutation" is the reason this particular animal lived these thousands of years. It is reasonable to assume the animal died of old age, those mutated genes having run their course.

The learned professor contends that this animal (in scientific circles called " Tri-Bot") roamed in vain all the around the country seeking a mate of the same species, to no avail, and died in the Town of Lincoln, Madison County, New York, with his goal unfulfilled.

Many other scientists from around the country traveled here to the Town of Lincoln in order to examine the remains and substantiate Professor Daffie's diagnosis. Unfortunately by the time they arrived on the scene, the bones had all been carried away by wild roaming dogs and coyotes.

Only the above photograph confirms the authenticity of the claim.

Charles E. Page Oneida, New York August 2005

"Post Script" November 3, 2005

In thinking this story over a bit I realized I had to question Professor Daffie a bit more.

I thought that Triceratops dinosaur was so named because of the THREE horns in the head area. I suppose "Tri for "Three", "Cera" for "horns", and "tops" meaning the top of the animal.

I also realized the recently discovered animal had only TWO harns on its head (See the picture). Somewhat skeptical I questioned the learned Professor about this. Here is what he answered.

"I guess I was remiss in not explaining more fully".

"This animal was really unique! All animals have their own defense mechanisms. Some have special colorations, some curl up in a ball and play dead, others depend on their fleetness of foot to escape predators. This is the only one that relied on cleverness, speed, and ability to inflict harm on its pursuers."

Tricerabottoms Rex ("Tribot" for short) was so named because of these defense features. The third horn was on its tail-end, or "bottom". The tail bone had, through mutation, become fused from flexibility to a stronger, solid, one-piece bone coming to a sharp point on the end, though still covered with hair. When under threat, the tail would rise to a horizontal, straight-out position>

Cleverly, or instinctively the Tribot would run from a pursuing predator at top speed, but if unable to out-run the the aggressor and was about to be caught, he would stop suddenly in his tracks, thus impaling the predator with the spear-like tail. Even if the pursuer was not killed, the surprise response would give the Tribot another chance to escape.

So it is now obvious why the the difference in names --Triceratops vs. Tricerabottoms.

"Charles E. Page" NOvember 3, 2005